A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just scratching his nuts, something she seemed to love to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?'
'Because,' she replied, 'I really miss mine.'

e mail the pres. president@whitehouse.gov

tell him what you think,or save it for the new guy.

Congress: Rank-and-File Members' Salary
The current salary (2008) for rank-and-file members of the House and Senate is $169,300 per year.

Congress: Leadership Members' Salary (110th Congress)
Leaders of the House and Senate are paid a higher salary than rank-and-file members.

Senate Leadership
Majority Leader - $188,100
Minority Leader - $188,100
House Leadership
Speaker of the House - $217,400
Majority Leader - $188,100
Minority Leader - $188,100

A cost-of-living-adjustment (COLA) increase takes effect annually unless Congress votes to not accept it.

435 members of the house,100 senators, 535 total.

530 rank-and-file members...530*$169,300.00=$89,729,000.00

4 leaders of the house and senate...4*$188,100.00=$752,400.00

1 speaker...$217,400.00

$89,729,000.00+$752,400.00+$217,400.00=$90,698,800.00


total salary for 1 year...$90,698,800.00

A guy is 71 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.The man said, "Are you talking to me?"The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

On their first night together, the newly weds decided to set up signalsconcerning their "urges".The lady said "If you want it, squeeze my BOOB once, if you don't want it, squeeze my BOOB twice."The gent said "OK, if you want it, pull my DONG once, if you don't want it, pull my DONG 48 times."

Two married girlfriends had a long standing girls night out, dating back many months, at a local bar. On one evening they both had way to much to drink. When they left the bar, they decided to take the shortcut thru the local cemetery. Half-way thru the cemetery they both decided they had to pee. The one said, 'I will use my underwear to wipe.' Her friend said 'I did not wear any underwear.' She looked around and found a ribbon attached to a bouquet of flowers. The girls walked home and passed out. The next morning one of the husbands called the other husband to complain about the girls night out. He said, 'I am getting very tired and irritated with these girls nights out. My wife came home without her panties!' The 2nd husband said, 'That is not as bad as my situation. My wife had a card between her cheeks that said - We will miss you. From all the guys at the firehouse.

A shy guy in a crowded bar is trying to work up his nerve to talk to a beautiful girl sitting nearby. He finally goes up to her an quietly says, "Excuse me, can I buy you a drink?" She looks at him and in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, says, "No, I won't sleep with you!"
The guy is horribly embarrassed and returns to his bar stool. A few minutes later the girl comes over to him and says, "I want to apologize. I'm a grad student in psychology and am studying how people react to humiliating situations. I'm really sorry for doing that to you. Can you forgive me?"
In the same loud voice she had used, he looks at her and answers "$200! No way!"

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around inagony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,'she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked,'How does that feel' ? He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, got any specials today?"
Bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink, invented by a gynecologist patron of ours.
It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka." The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?"
The bartender replied, "It's a "Pabst Smir."

A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for one hour. When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?

A U.S. Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm."
The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field over yonder."
The Agriculture representative said, "Mister, I have the authority of the United States Government with me. See this card? The card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the Agriculture Rep with every step. The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out.....
"Your card! Your card! Show him your card!"

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."
"Good morning Father, what is this?" he asked the pastor.
The pastor said, "Well, son, it's a memorial plaque to all the young men and women who died in the Service."
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, he asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?"