Toward the end of a service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly Lady. Mrs. Jones? "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly. Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," she replied. "Oh. Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?" The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches."

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.Well, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me sometimes'.The little girl screams to her brother "Don't eat it, it's an a**hole.

For Josh and Harry!

We had the best day today. The boys were in school so Laura and I went down to Hauser dam to fish on the Missouri river. These pictures are not in order. Sorry about the border on some of the pictures...I was in a hurry to get the camera and my finger hit the button for a border.

Biggest fish of the day...Caught by Laura.
Sooooo many fish.

First fish of the day...caught by Laura...Her first cast out!
Smallest fish of the day....caught by ME!
Smile!
Only rainbow trout of the day ....caught by Laura.
Biggest fish....different shot....caught by Laura.

My first fish.
Jared learning how to shoot a riffle.
Jared's very first shot....EVER!
Another big fish.
My biggest and most toothy of the day!

Gabe's school picture. 13 years old.
Jared's school picture. 6 years old.

A word of caution to those wishing to hike through bear country in Montana in order to commune with nature:

Hikers are advised wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them.

Hikers also advised to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Hikers should learn to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have noisy little bells in them and smell like pepper.

This guy was washing the dishes in his kitchen and he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door and there was nobody there. Just as he was closing it he looked down and saw a snail.
"What do you want?" he asked the snail.
"Can I have a glass of water please?" replied the snail.
"No, clear off!" shouted the guy and he punted the snail down to the bottom of the garden.
Two Years later he was in the kitchen again and he heard a familiar knock at the door. He opened the door, looked down, and saw a snail. Before he could say a word the snail shouted "What the hell was that all about?"

its just fun

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."